The Victorian Parlor

By Jennie Shurtleff

Today the word “parlor” has largely fallen out of common parlance, but in the 19th century, it was widely used as many people had a parlor in their home. The word “parlor” comes from the Anglo-Norman French word “parler,” which means “to speak.” Given the derivation of the word, it is not surprising that parlors were generally viewed as places for talking and for socializing with guests.

While the idea of a formal room for socializing has largely fallen out of favor, during the Victorian period, parlors were all the rage. Even simple homes often boasted a special room for entertaining that would contain all the family’s best linens and treasured objects, and was accessorized with expensive moldings and finishing touches that were not found in other rooms of the house. Because they were elaborate show spaces, parlors became viewed as a status symbol.

There are several reasons why parlors began to decline in popularity during the early 20th century. First, as the most elaborately appointed room in the house, parlors were often costly to set up, but used relatively little. Critics of parlors cited that many people, including those of modest means, would often spend a disproportionate amount of their money on a room that was largely for show, neglecting improvements and upkeep of the rooms in which they actually lived. Second, while those desiring to imitate the upper social echelons may have delighted in their parlor as an oasis of refinement and culture, it appears that there were just as many who viewed the family parlor as a prison of sorts where they were sentenced to long hours of boredom sitting quietly and practicing company manners or participating in sanctioned activities like viewing stereograph cards.

 Over time, the parlor in most homes transitioned to become a “living room.” In contrast to a parlor, the “living room” was far less formal and designed to be an everyday room in which families could relax, be comfortable, and escape from the day’s tribulations.

That is not to say that the activities in all parlors were limited to sipping tea and politely discussing the weather. In fact, some parlors were used for much more spirited activities. In Woodstock, Edward Dana, who grew up in the Dana House at 26 Elm Street notes that many people, both adults and children, enjoyed putting on dramatic productions in their parlors. Such home-grown dramas, that predated the advent of radio and television, provided entertainment for those in the audience and an opportunity for those performing to practice important skills such as public speaking and memorization.

Parlor games were also immensely popular. The late 19th-century advertisement shown above claims the benefits of rubber-arrows shot from a gun as a parlor activity for “all ages.” Shooting at one another, according to the ad, was “intensly amusing and perfectly harmless.” Additionally the ad proclaims that it provides other benefits such as, it “trains the EYE,’ cultivates the JUDGMENT, strengthens the NERVES, and fills every VEIN with youthful blood. It gives everyone a better control of themselves. It establishes a PERFECT HARMONY between the EYE, the INTELLECT, the MUSCLES and NERVES, and promotes the highest type of PHYSICAL AND MENTAL DEVELOPMENT.”

Other parlor games were similarly designed for a rambunctious group of players. Blind Man’s Buff, where one individual is blind folded and tries to tag the others in the group as they move about, is a good case in point. Sometimes players would move furniture or other obstacles in between themselves and the blindfolded player, leading to mayhem and potentially serious accidents.

For those who had a piano in their parlor, music could be integrated into parlor pastimes. For instance, the person playing the piano would play songs varying the volume between soft and loud, and the tempo between fast and slow, and participants would try to dance to match the music.

A quieter, more cultured activity was called “Sculptor.” One person, the “sculptor,” would tell the others how to pose (for instance, like a school teacher or a type of flower). The participants would strike a pose, and after all were posed, the sculptor would pick out the best “statue,” who would become the next “sculptor.”

Other favorite activities included shadow games, which required practice but little to no equipment. By cleverly holding their hands in a certain way, the presenter could create a variety of animals, ranging from a rabbit to a deer, and use them to play guessing games or act out dramatic scenes.

Diagram for a shadow game from Plays and Games for Little Folks, Sports of All Sorts, Fireside Fun, and Singing Games, published in 1889.

Another favorite was word games and riddles. Such activities were encouraged because they not only supported creative and logical thinking, but also the acquisition of content knowledge.

For other examples of parlor games, visit the Woodstock History Center’s online Child’s Life exhibit at https://www.woodstockhistorycenter.org/the-history-of-play, and then scroll down until you see “Parlor Games.” Under this heading is a scanned copy of the 19th-century book Games for Everybody.